Sunday, July 27, 2008

Goose Poo Fountain

I know, I know. Again with the fountains. But, something else annoys me today. Here is a fountain in the Great Valley Corporate Center, and someone found it necessary to place a No Trespassing sign by it. Now, I don’t know about your Corporate Centers, but ours are great swathes of inert space, where nothing untoward ever occurs. We drive through the area from meeting to meeting, park legally and enter the building in an orderly fashion. We eat in designated areas, and walk/run/bike in the proper lanes. We pride ourselves on being a well-behaved bunch, and certainly not “fountain jumpers”.

I suppose it’s possible that someone may have become accidentally intoxicated at one of the many happy hours provided strictly for stress-reduction purposes. Hours later, said unfortunate may have staggered from the bar, weaved across the parking lot, clamored into the (suddenly) inviting fountain, and promptly suffocated on goose poo. Since our hives of commerce fall deathly silent after 7 PM, the body would have floated until morning. In the face of such tragedy, there would have been a Law Enforcement/Security/Disaster Recovery Joint Task Force investigation, the requisite Legal Review, and a certified Risk Mitigation study, all culminating in a decision to plant that sign.

Yesterday, I read an article that related the lenient treatment of the homeless in Philadelphia, as compared to other cities. In other towns, fines are assessed for feeding the homeless, in an effort to clear the parks. The Police arrest the homeless for “camping out,” and chase them doggedly in a bizarre wee-hour game of musical park benches. But here in Philadelphia, as long as the people have moved along by morning, we look the other way. All this leniency has cultivated an atmosphere where the homeless sleep, unmolested in ritzy Rittenhouse Square, and do not simply trespass in the fountains, but bathe in them. Life is good. Not as good as more shelters, and social safety net programs, but I ask too much.

Goose poo aside, if the economy continues to slide, we may need more signs.


Spartacus Jones said...

The richest damn country on earth and we have people sleeping in the streets and going without food.
Won't be like this when I'm President.


rebecca said...

oh, but why can't i have just a little dip? darn sign! LOL!

as far as the homeless, i cannot believe that they assess fines if someone feeds them. i am left speechless. i suppose they must compare that to that of people feeding feral cats that one never gets rid of once we open that door .... well, i suppose letting the homeless wither away in starvation and watching them salivate for a little piece of bread while we gluttonously eat in front of them is the answer. i had written a piece back in april about this.

CoyoteFe said...

Spartacus Jones -

When you are President, may I be the Coyote in the corner reminding you of your campaign pledges? :-D

CoyoteFe said...

Rebecca -

You know what? Taking an illicit dip is sounding better and better (goose poo be damned!). If I do, I'll post photos.

In NYC, Mayor Giuliani wanted to arrest the homeless who refused to go to shelters. I suppose this was part of his city improvement campaign along with ridding the streets of vendors, windshield washers and other undesirables. It didn't matter that there was not enough space in the shelters, or that no one felt safe there.

And, your comment comparing the policy to feeding cats is right on. It equates to prohibitions against feeding the bears, doesn't it? Now you have me annoyed all over again!

Sindy said...

Ok so I'm voting for Spartacus Jones. and while Fe may be in the corner reminding you of promises, I will be standing on soap box proclaiming how you will.
And Fe, I work in a dreaded corporate center. And we have a lovely fountain (2 actually, 1 inside, 1 out) and the other day it contained a mother duck and 5 goslings. More people gathered around to witness such a display of nature than those of us who signed up for bone marrow donation, that I can tell you.

CoyoteFe said...

You are too funny! You were going to write in your DOG!