Goose Poo Fountain

I know, I know. Again with the fountains. But, something else annoys me today. Here is a fountain in the Great Valley Corporate Center, and someone found it necessary to place a No Trespassing sign by it. Now, I don’t know about your Corporate Centers, but ours are great swathes of inert space, where nothing untoward ever occurs. We drive through the area from meeting to meeting, park legally and enter the building in an orderly fashion. We eat in designated areas, and walk/run/bike in the proper lanes. We pride ourselves on being a well-behaved bunch, and certainly not “fountain jumpers”.

I suppose it’s possible that someone may have become accidentally intoxicated at one of the many happy hours provided strictly for stress-reduction purposes. Hours later, said unfortunate may have staggered from the bar, weaved across the parking lot, clamored into the (suddenly) inviting fountain, and promptly suffocated on goose poo. Since our hives of commerce fall deathly silent after 7 PM, the body would have floated until morning. In the face of such tragedy, there would have been a Law Enforcement/Security/Disaster Recovery Joint Task Force investigation, the requisite Legal Review, and a certified Risk Mitigation study, all culminating in a decision to plant that sign.

Yesterday, I read an article that related the lenient treatment of the homeless in Philadelphia, as compared to other cities. In other towns, fines are assessed for feeding the homeless, in an effort to clear the parks. The Police arrest the homeless for “camping out,” and chase them doggedly in a bizarre wee-hour game of musical park benches. But here in Philadelphia, as long as the people have moved along by morning, we look the other way. All this leniency has cultivated an atmosphere where the homeless sleep, unmolested in ritzy Rittenhouse Square, and do not simply trespass in the fountains, but bathe in them. Life is good. Not as good as more shelters, and social safety net programs, but I ask too much.

Goose poo aside, if the economy continues to slide, we may need more signs.