Friday, April 3, 2009

Freakin’ Friday

So my parents.

My parents adopted this kitten named Friday, but my Mother quickly renamed her PITA. I love cats; I love Friday too. But she is the most aggressive cat I have ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot of cats. Sure, she’ll cozy up to you when she is tired and wants to be stroked to sleep. But then she always wakes up, rested and predatory.

Friday stalks people. She must be placed in the basement when company calls, or she will harass them with her sharp little talons. Yes, I know cats don’t have talons, but that seems so much more accurate than the more domesticated-sounding ‘claws.’ Claws sounds like you won’t spend the next week dabbing Neosporin® on your legs. No, really. Cue: hawkscream.wav.

Yeah, Friday.

So I’m doing god-knows-what online the other night, and my mother IMs me:

Did I tell you about the feathers in the bathtub?

I think, “Friday,” but I am practicing not interrupting: No.

Friday is not allowed in my parents’ room at night. Something about not wanting to be murdered in their sleep. So, each night she has the house to herself, and one never knows what one will find in the morning. This particular morning, my Mother rises to go to the bathroom, and finds feathers in the bathtub.

“Friday, where’s the bird?” she yells.

Friday doesn’t answer. Who’d make her?

At this point, I’m wondering how a bird got into the locked house, but I know the standard answer will apply: “Who knows?” As in: There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio … (My, but I seem to be on a Hamlet jag this week.)

My mother looks everywhere, following the trail of feathers. Then, she spies the little bird corpse lying neatly on the hall chest with the rest of Friday’s toys.

Mom, are you telling me that Friday brought a bird in the house, chased it around, killed it, tired of it, and then put it away with the rest of her toys?



Your father found the poor little thing. He thinks it tacky when her toys are left to lie around.


So, he put her toy away.


Janie said...

Have your parents considered having Friday exorcised? Or, maybe she's not the right religion for that?
She does look a bit possessed with those big freaky green eyes!
Hilarious that your dad put the bird away with Friday's other toys.

rebecca said...

GOOD ONE! There's a man for you. *sigh*

Now, about Friday. She reminds me of Trouble/Devil, my own demon at home. She's two and she has this teeny little sweet meow that you would think she's so innocent. Stroke her a bit, she's fine; stroke her some more and out come the very sharp claws and she bites! Bites! My skin resembles that of a crackhead with scratches all over the place. Yes, the cat has ruined my girlie good looks.

But, back to Friday. Bringing a bird home is actually a sign that she wants to show Mommy what a good cat she is; they're actually doing a good thing on their part. Aww! Poor bird, though.

Good for you Mom to have adopted her. And methinks she will keep both your parents very, very entertained for many years to come!!!

This was funny.....FUNNY!!!!!

Carolyn said...

This is such a wonderful post....I have a smile from ear to ear! I do believe "talons" is the right word!
I inherited a cat "Marvellous Marvin" from my daughter because he was jeolous of her new relationship with her now husband. To show his distain, on hot July night while Gen & S were sleeping Marvin jumped(all 24 lbs of him) from the window sill onto S gential with "talons" out...he was on the plane to me the next day!!!
Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful weekend.
Blessings and smiles

CoyoteFe said...

Well they had her fixed, but that was more about the wide-roaming marmalade Tom next door than a bid to address her temperment. I wish I had a picture of her toys at that moment. OK, maybe that's a bit macabre ...

CoyoteFe said...

By "a man" do you mean my Dad? All I can say is THANK GOD they don't live on a busy street. One can only imagine what he would do with the roadkill! Your description of her claw art is priceless. Crackhed art you say? I will pass on bird offerings as a sign of good cat sensibilities to my Mom. I'm sure she will appreciate it. I must, however, point out that Friday was offering up NOTHING! She came, brought and conquered, then played with her catch until bored. Then she abandoned it. Good girl - Ha!

CoyoteFe said...

Glad you enjoyed it! I thought it was hysterical. Can I just say that I'm liking Marvin, although I can QUITE understand why he was on the plane the very next night. And, I don't believe his landing that night was an accident. He beats Friday for aggressive expression any day! Hope your weekend is beautiful!

rebecca said...


I had to laugh. It just keeps getting funnier and funnier! That's right, she didn't show Mommy her great, big kill; she played with, got bored and went on to something else! HA! That is one evil, evil cat. But look at her? Does she not look precious? *sigh* Well, I sure hope your parents don't have indoor birds because that'll be coming to an end soon. Or, fish. Oh, yeah, I can see her sticking her paws in the water and harassing the fish to no end. You try to do a good deed and look what happens - you get stuck with the Devil's spawn!

CoyoteFe said...

Ouch! Friday!